AyeVarViVa

Nobody says you have to be gangstas, hoes. Read more learn more, change the globe. Ghetto children, do your thang.

Pardon the way that I stare…

Not to long ago I was feeling a lot like this, suave, killing it (literally).  However my gamesmanship got the best of me:

Anyhow, I now find myself in a much better place.  I can’t be certain of what I’ll be doing a few month from today, hell I can’t even be certain I’ll live to see another 24.  Nevertheless I will push beyond any self doubt and nerves, in order to continue serving the humanity in the wonderful city of Philadelphia.  The city has adopted me as one of its own and I’m not ready to leave.

I’ll soon be 24, soon 25, and then I’m practically 30.  Nevertheless I still find myself bothered by the same troubles I have had since I was a boy.  Sometimes I know I blabber far to much, It can be incessant and most of the time childish.  Most of the time its to try and cover up how awkward I tend to be, although in most cases, the two go hand in hand.

Yet at times I find myself completely silent.  A very few and particular set of people keep me silent.  At the same time I rack my brain thinking of the next funny witty or charming thing to say.  However I erase the thought and keep my trap shut.  After a minute or two, I stop trying to say something.  Instead we just sit in silence and I begin to appreciate it.

Part of it is nerves, and fearing that I’ll say the wrong thing.  At times its facing reality, will what I say change much?  Nothing about the scenario is ideal.  Yet, I’m starting to think that is one of these nuances related to growing up.

If you fill the gaps for me, then maybe we have a fire going.

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One comment on “Pardon the way that I stare…

  1. ayevarviva
    April 29, 2015

    Reblogged this on AyeVarViVa.

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This entry was posted on April 28, 2015 by .
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