AyeVarViVa

Nobody says you have to be gangstas, hoes. Read more learn more, change the globe. Ghetto children, do your thang.

One Wish..

I’m going to try and keep this brief and to the point. First, we must acknowledge the dangerous ramifications of broad swept assumptions/generalizations, especially as they relate to certain demographics of the population. The “president-elect” has publicly said that Mexicans are all illegal dangerous criminals. It didn’t end there, then he stated that he would ban all Muslims from entering the country. Under the false assumption that all Muslims are terrorist. That sort of vile thinking, stirred the angriest and most disgusting folks to vote for him.

Furthermore, the problem of assumptions and generalization played itself in the clashing dynamic of urban versus rural populations or the “Common Joe” vs “the establishment” . One candidate successfully convinced a large set of American’s that their way of life and wallet was being attacked due to dangerous foreign influences. That manufacturing blue collar jobs were disappearing because the “elites” & “Washington insiders” cut deals that screwed over the little man. When the truth is that manufacturing jobs are becoming obsolete & his promises to bring them back are false.

In any case, it doesn’t take a racist endorsed “president-elect” to show just how ugly broad assumptions can be. Recently, a person who I hold in very high regard with a proven track record of sharing good will said some sickening statements. With what I presume to be the best intentions he mentioned that one of my boys needed “tough love” or else they won’t understand the ramifications of their actions and would “end up in jail”.

My stomach dropped and my mind was overcome with anger. Without knowing the life my boy lived, the difficult background he struggles to bottle with every second of his life; this man though he could paint him with one broad brush, simply because my boy was brown and from the inner city.

I know my boy isn’t perfect & I will be the first to point that out. Yet, I was horror struck when I heard this adult’s narrative, “tough love” & “discipline” was how to get through to difficult kids or else they will be barred from participating. Perhaps…

On the other hand, I highly believe kids (especially my kids who many have faced trauma in their family or due to poverty) should be allowed to make mistakes. This man’s thinking was flawed in believing everyone processes authority and difficult scenarios the same, and that “tough love” would get them to the right place. I tend to believe empathy, understanding, reflection, and restorative consequences are necessary to deal with my boys.

So if I had one wish, it is that my kids understood that the cycle of anger and frustration they are grappling with every day is breakable. Today they asked what I would do if someone accosted me & all I could do is apologize and explain to them anger is never to likely be my first reaction. “Tough love” and punitive “zero tolerance” thinking creates mistrust, fear, and anger. We need to find a way to overcome our first instincts in fight & flight, or else they would risk that this mans words would become true.

I will do my best to discuss in detail all team discrepancies & disputes, so that we find amicable solutions where my boys learn something, not simply fall in line because an arbitrary source says its correct. Each of my boys is different and I can’t make the mistake that one size fits all discipline is correct.

…The only appropriate generalization to take from this rant is: fuck Trump

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This entry was posted on November 18, 2016 by .
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